Wednesday, November 8, 2023
Barbara or “Ms. Barbara” as I called her was indeed a rare being. It’s not everyday you get a chance to experience someone like her and even better get a chance to have someone like her in your life for over a decade. I met Ms Barbara towards the end of my sophomore year in high. I was 16 then and I’m 28 now. When I met Ms. Barbara I had recently relocated from an all girls group home in New Jersey to Ridgefield Connecticut. I was so nervous about the transition and going to a new school and making new friends. How I would fit in and most importantly, how I would keep up with academics. I didn’t make many genuine connections during my sophomore year, but I spoke with Ms Barbara here and there and that was comforting. I often walked around with a guard up, I knew eventually I had to lower it and allow people in my life for me to adapt to my new environment.
It wasn’t until my junior year of high school that I was able to really experience Ms. Barbara and all that she was after letting my guard down. She was so kind, thoughtful, compassionate, funny, and most importantly, loving. From the moment we really had a chance to really sit down and get to know each other I knew she was someone I wanted in my life forever. She would study with me and speak with my teachers often to make sure they understood my learning style and that I was staying on top of my school work. I went to her office just about every day to see her and often she would often kick me out and fuss at me about being on time for my next class. A funny memory, I took acting as an elective during high school and there would be times where I would perform my monologues in her office before my acting class and ask for feedback on my performance and sometimes I would need her to read lines with me and she would get a good laugh doing that with me. I really enjoyed spending time with her. I’m so extremely grateful for her time and patience with me during high school. There’s so many memories I could share.
When she retired from ridgefield high school we still continued to stay very close. She would visit me in college and when I moved to New York she would take the time to plan visits to see me. Some weekends I’d travel upstate to spend a weekend or a day with her and Alan. During those trips I had a chance to see a different side of her and things she enjoyed and how she was as a person outside of work and being of service to other people. I loved watching her different interests in things like gardening, knitting and her taste in home decor and watching her and Alan interact. I always thought they were so funny together. Those visits to her home were the best and I always left there feeling thankful for her.
Ms Barbara introduced me to so many things like the importance of therapy, forgiveness, compassion, patience, time management (which I still struggle with), finances, and so many other things. I wasn’t much of a tea person until I met Ms. Barbara and she introduced me to a few classic teas like Earl Grey and English Breakfast. I recently relocated to Atlanta, Georgia after living in New York for years I needed to study for my drivers license. Ms Barbara knew how much I hated studying and how frustrated I get and offered to help me study on the weekends. Although she was sick and not feeling her best she still wanted to help me study and she did. I’m looking forward to taking my drivers test and getting my drivers license something she wanted for me.
Ms. Barbara really believed in me and she always found ways to support me and show up for me and I will never forget that. I will continue to make her proud and I will keep with me all the things she taught me over the years and pay it forward. I hope one day I can help a young girl in need of love, patience, and understanding who is in need of a “Ms. Barbara”
Ms. Barbara became my chosen family. She was all the things someone could hope for in a person. She played so many roles in my life and words can’t express how thankful I am for her love and kindness. Ms. Barbara made me laugh often and she made me feel special and loved. I knew how much she me and she knew how much I loved her.
I’m so deeply heartbroken by her loss, but I’m finding peace knowing she is no longer in pain. I’m in peace knowing I had a chance to travel update to see her last month for one last time and feel her energy and love. I’m left with so many memories, cherished items, hand written cards, photos and videos from our time together and a knitted blanket that I will hold onto forever.
Everyone deserves a Ms. Barbara. I will miss her beyond what words could express and I’m so blessed to have known her.
My prayers and condolences go out to her family.
With love,
Joi
